Giving a good handjob may seem like a piece of cake, but having a few skills up your sleeve can go a long way in giving your partner explosive orgasms. From basics like palm-positioning to heavier topics like temperature play, we’ve got you covered. 

Ask Your Partner How They Want To Be Touched

It’s likely your partner has some sense of what they like: pressure, technique, rhythm, etc. Before you go diving into handling their body, start with a good old fashioned conversation. 

A few leading questions could include: what sort of pressure do you like? Do you like to have the entirety of your shaft played with, or do you like more focus on the head or tip? Do you like ball play? Lube or no lube? These will give you a few places to start.

Handjob Rhythm Is Crucial 

You can slow down or speed up as a way to tease your partner, but keep your stroking somewhat consistent. This means building up a rhythm that keeps your hand or hands busy and prioritizes building pleasure over time, versus going fast and furious and then stopping because you get tired. 

Slow down or speed up as a way to tease your partner.

A soft touch, but firm grip, can be really satisfying–just make sure to check in with your partner. If they’re into dirty talk, you can even ask them sexy questions about if they like what you’re doing as you’re doing it. Two birds, one stone!

To that end, steady, consistent rhythm allows you to pace yourself and take care of your wrists as needed. After all, this should be fun, not taxing, for you as well!

Stay Engaged During A Handjob

A good handjob can be a time-intensive endeavor, and that can be really hot! However, if you find yourself in the handjob zone for the long haul, keep your face and body language engaged and encouraging. 

Nothing is worse than your partner thinking you’re disinterested, or that they’re taking too long. After all, it’s not always about the destination! It’s equally about the journey. 

Switch Up Your Handjob Techniques

Finding a good stroking rhythm is part of the fun of handjobs, but another component is how delightful it can be to change it up a little. While keeping your strokes consistent with your dominant hand, use your free hand to play with your partner’s balls, lightly caressing them with the pads of your fingers, or even the edges of your fingernails (note: ask your partner first if this is okay). 

While keeping your strokes consistent with your dominant hand, use your free hand to play with your partner’s balls.

If you know your sweetheart is into ass play, you can take this opportunity to use one finger to penetrate them, or just play with the area between their scrotum and anus. 

Have a partner who isn’t into having their testicles or ass played with? That’s okay, too. You can still switch it up, utilizing soft touch on their inner thighs, hips, or lower back. Whatever they like!

To Lube Or Not To Lube?

Not everyone likes a slippery handjob, but some really do! If your partner falls into the latter category, then you can explore together what type of lubrication works for both of you–regular lube, spit, or even straight up hand lotion can suffice, but the research is half the fun. 

Finding yourself particularly excited about lube? There are some lubricants that contain trace amounts of cooling or warming materials that provide extra sensations for the user. If you are you partner are looking to experiment with slight temperature variations during play, this could be a good gateway!

Do The Handjob Twist

Found your consistent rhythm but looking to switch up a little? Incorporate a little twist at the end of your strokes, just like they do in porn. Simply turn your hand and wrist as you stroke downward towards the base of their shaft. 

Incorporate a little twist at the end of your stroke… turn your hand and wrist as you stroke downward towards the base of their shaft. 

You can even use two hands for maximum coverage and to make your partner feel particularly cared for. The extra twist at the end provides a little bit of variation in sensation. 

No matter what technique you decide to employ, have fun! Make sure to communicate your ergonomic needs to your partner, and to listen to any specific things they particularly enjoy or are interested in trying.

The post How to Give the Best Handjob, Ever appeared first on LoveZoom.

Unlike penetration with a toy or a penis, using your fingers to pleasure your partner can give you complete control over pressure and sensation. Here are a few tips and tricks to make fingering your partner’s pussy an experience neither of you will forget.

Before You Start Fingering

Make sure you’ve got your bases covered so you can finger your partner comfortably and safely.

Check that your nails are trimmed and smooth, with no sharp edges, in order to avoid accidentally scratching your partner mid-stroke. The inside and outside of the vagina can be a thrilling place to explore and create sensations, but it can also be particularly sensitive, so it’s important to keep those nails smooth.

Check that your nails are trimmed and smooth, with no sharp edges, in order to avoid accidentally scratching your partner mid-stroke.

Pro-tip: If you’ve got long fabulous nails that you don’t want to sacrifice, try stuffing cotton balls into the fingertips of a latex or vinyl glove to offer a barrier between your nails and your partner’s skin.

In addition to smooth nails, you’ll want to make sure that your partner is good and ready before you get started! This means either a) using lubricant to make penetration easier and more comfortable, or b) working to arouse them so that they’re naturally lubricated by the time you’re ready to start fingering.

Do Research: Ask Your Partner What Fingering Techniques They Like!

One of the great advantages to fingering versus, say, eating pussy, is that your partner may already know what type of touch they prefer through doing their own homework! Try asking:

• “Do you have a particular part of the clit you like rubbed, or a rhythm that works for you?”
• “How much penetration feels good, and how much is too much?”
• “Do you like to be teased, or edged?”
• “What gets you going?”

If your partner isn’t quite sure how to describe what they like, another great option is to have your partner show you what they like. Watching a partner masturbate can be super hot—and educational!

If your partner isn’t quite sure how to describe what they like, another great option is to have your partner show you what they like.

Knowing what your partner likes and how they like it will go a long way in making them wet enough for sexy penetration.

Pro-tip: If you or your partner is aroused and ready to go, but isn’t quite wet just yet, that’s totally normal! Just add lube!

Focus on the Clit

While easy g-spot access is one of the huge perks of fingering, be sure not to neglect the clitoris! You can cover all your bases by inserting one or two fingers (depending on what your partner likes)—your index and middle finger, for example—while using your thumb to lightly play with the clit. This is called double-stimulation, and many people find it extremely pleasurable.

Another technique for double-stimulation is using one hand to penetrate and the other to play with their clit, if you find it tiring or difficult to rely on just one hand.

When you find a rhythm that works for your partner, don’t stop! Keep building on their waves of pleasure until you feel them start to shudder. If their thighs begin to shake, they’re getting close! (Of course, if they don’t quite make it to orgasm, that’s perfectly normal. Fingering is all about having fun.)

If you find that you’re still struggling to maintain rhythm (after all, it can be challenging!), consider using a small bullet vibrator on your partner’s clitoris while you’re penetrating them with your fingers.

All of these techniques stand on their own, but they can also be great paired with eating pussy or anal play—the world is your oyster (to finger)!

The post Fingering Techniques appeared first on LoveZoom.

Massaging or stroking a pussy with your hands can be sensual and sexy, but how do you know if you’re “doing it right”? A stellar pussy massage involves exploring what feels good and embracing intimacy — whether or not the massage ends in orgasm. If you want to learn to better massage your partner, or yourself, try these pussy massaging tips and techniques.

1. Communicate 

Before massaging a partner, establish consent and communicate personal boundaries. You might ask your partner about their turn ons, turn offs, and what activities they don’t feel comfortable engaging in. Both parties should be enthusiastically on board with the experience. To ensure ongoing pleasure, check-in throughout the process to make sure you’re applying the right amount of pressure, touching where it feels good, and that they’re comfortable with what you’ll do next. For example, your partner may have preferences about whether you touch the clitoris or not, where sensations tend to be much stronger. Listen to what your partner wants and clearly communicate what you’re comfortable doing, too. It’s important to remember that consent can be withdrawn at any point during sex.

2. Get in the massaging mood

Whether you’re massaging before or after sex or as a stand-alone activity, it’s important to feel comfortable and present. ​​It may be useful to use deep breathing techniques to ease any nerves. Try inhaling in through your nose for six seconds and then slowly exhaling for six seconds. Repeating this technique, or any other relaxation practice, might help to clear your mind and approach the experience with positivity. 

3. Set the scene

Environment can help heighten the senses and set the tone for a sensual experience. Create a space that feels relaxing ; dim or turn off the lights and lay somewhere comfortable. Candles or dim lighting can help you set the scene and may even come in handy during your massage. For example, the melted wax from Ignite Me’s massage candles doubles as a warm massage oil.

4. Engage the elements

Some lubes contain cooling or heating ingredients that activate with friction. If you or your partner is interested in temperature-based play, try a small amount of Sliquid Sizzle Stimulating Lubricant, which cools on contact and warms when massaged, or try the Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm on the vulva (this balm is for external use only though) for a cooling, tingling sensation. (Bonus: It’s strawberry-flavored.)

5. Ease into it and build anticipation

To elevate sexual tension, specifically with a partner, find ways to build anticipation. Christine Lozano, LMFT, a certified sex addiction therapist, told Bustle that, “Sexual teasing increases attraction for many due to the notion: love seeks closeness, desire seeks distance.” She says that it echoes the idea of “wanting what you can’t have.” To tease your partner, stimulate other parts of the body as you make your way down to the pussy. You might lightly graze your partner’s lips, kiss their neck, or lengthen the time their underwear stays on. 

6. Grab some lube

Adding lubrication, like a lube or a massage oil, can heighten sensation and reduce uncomfortable friction. In fact, studies have shown that lubricants are associated with significantly greater sexual pleasure and satisfaction. To make your massage slicker and sexier, apply a few drops of a water-based lube like Sliquid Satin or Please Liquid Lubricant to your fingers first. Massage oils like Sensuous Beauty Love Balm create the same lubricating effect with the added pleasure of soothing scents like lavender and tangerine.

7. Explore the full pussy — slowly

Starting slowly and with a gentle touch, use one or two fingers to move over the vulva and outer labia, stroking in small circles at first. While it can be tempting to go straight for the clit, take your time exploring these less frequently touched areas instead. Be consistent about your speed and pressure, and if you’re massaging a partner, take cues from their body language.

8. Mix up your pussy stroking movements

Once you’ve established a rhythm, you can get a little more creative. Try rubbing the labia in long strokes with two fingers, lightly tapping your fingers, or using three or four fingers to massage a larger area. Apply more pressure as you move over the labia and toward the clitoris, and continue for as long as it’s enjoyable. 

9. Try a sex toy

Bringing a sex toy like a vibrator into the mix can create stronger sensations your fingers can’t do alone. Use a low-intensity external vibrator like the Pleasurette Mini over you or your partner’s vulva, labia, and inner thighs or bikini line. You can also try a toy that’s meant to attach to your finger, like the FingO Tips Micro Fingertip Vibrator, for a double-whammy of vibration and stimulating ribbed edges.

Bringing a sex toy like a vibrator into the mix can create stronger sensations your fingers can’t do alone. 

The bottom line 

A pussy massage can bring you closer to yourself and/or your partner. Keep an open mind and go slow to have a sensual and sexy experience. If you want to explore more pussy play, learn the best positions for pussy eating.

The post 9 Pussy Massage Techniques appeared first on LoveZoom.

Hand sex — using hands and fingers to stimulate sexual pleasure — gets a bad rap, like it’s somehow less than other sex acts. But hands are incredibly versatile, intimate tools that can allow you to touch someone in exactly the ways they enjoy. Your fingers also receive a multitude of sensations which allow you to enjoy your partner’s body. 

While many of us may have been experimenting with fingering since we were teenagers, that doesn’t mean we know how to do it well. Like any other kind of sex, fingering is a learned skill.

‍How to be good at fingering‍

Before stimulating a body, it helps to know some basic anatomy. Everyone is different, so learning anatomy doesn’t get you out of talking to your partner, but it’s a good place to start. 

While the clitoris and the G-spot get most of the attention, the entire vulva is a potential erogenous zone. It’s important to pay attention to the whole area, not only because it can feel really good, but because pinpoint sensation on an area as sensitive as the clitoris is often overwhelming before reaching higher states of arousal. It’s really helpful to start slowly at the beginning to allow your partner to relax. 

Try placing your hand over the entire vulva and just holding still. This allows your partner to get used to being touched and shows them things won’t progress too quickly. This is also a great time to focus on other forms of intimacy like eye contact, kissing, and touching the rest of their body with your other hand.

Once you’re ready for more, try moving the whole hand to provide uniform pressure. This helps wake up all the tissues and continues to enforce the idea that nothing will happen too fast. 

Every time you want to progress to something new, check-in with your partner. For example, you can ask them things like, “Are you ready for your clit to be touched?” and “Are you ready for penetration?” You can also look for non-verbal cues, such as if they are moving your hand towards their clit, or if they are making exciting noises. 

While you’re focusing on the entire vulva, you have the opportunity to stimulate the whole CUV complex (clitoral, urethral, vaginal). Properly speaking, it’s all these parts together that provide sexual pleasure, even if you access that pleasure from one pinpointed area. 

The part of the clit you see from the outside of the body is just a fraction of what lies beneath. The clitoral legs and vestibular bulbs lie underneath the inner and outer labia and can be stimulated through external and internal pressure. 

There’s as much erectile tissue in the clitoral complex as there is in a penis, but most of it is under the skin where you can’t see it swelling. Also, it can take longer to engorge than a penis, so it’s a great idea to spend time on building arousal so you can experience all of the pleasure that’s possible when this area of the body is fully engorged. 

When you’re ready to focus on more direct clitoral stimulation, you still don’t want to go right for the head of the clit — that area is often too sensitive even when fully aroused. Instead, use the clitoral hood to your advantage and slide that tissue up and down the clitoral shaft, thinking of it like a tiny handjob on a penis. Especially once someone is aroused, you’ll be able to feel the clitoral shaft and that area is often very sensitive. ‍

Ask your partner how they like to be fingered‍

As you’re trying fingering techniques, you’ll want to check-in and see how your partner feels about what you’re doing and what they might like done differently. While it’s always wonderful to ask someone how they’d like to be touched, not everyone will have the language to explain that. It’s often easier to give a choice between two things, like “harder or softer,” “faster or slower,” “left or right,” etc. Not only does this not require too much thinking right at the moment, but asking for that kind of feedback allows someone to say what they want with less fear of hurting your feelings. ‍

Do you need to penetrate when you finger someone?‍

Good fingering doesn’t need to include penetration. Many people find it easier to orgasm from external stimulation. But internal stimulation can also provide a great deal of pleasure if it’s something you and your partner would like to try. 

Once you get the go-ahead from your partner, continue the slow pace. Start with just one or two fingers and move very slowly, checking in as you go. If you’re interested in exploring G-spot stimulation, slide your fingers along the anterior wall of the vagina (up towards the belly) until you’re an inch or two deep and you feel a slightly different texture. Remember, everybody is different and there’s no way to find the right spot without talking to your partner and asking what feels good. 

What you’re actually stimulating is the urethral sponge, an area of the CUV complex that is often the last to swell with arousal — so it’s best to wait until your partner is really turned on before trying this. 

You’ve probably heard the advice to use a “come hither” motion with your fingers. And while that might get you in the right neighborhood, make sure you avoid using the tips of your fingers or fingernails, since they tend to poke and fingernails can cause damage. Instead, focus on using the pads of your fingers to either press upward in a rhythmic way or move in little circles. Again, check-in about what’s most pleasurable. ‍

Don’t be afraid to bust out the lube! 

In addition to your fingering techniques, lube is one of the greatest things you can incorporate to enhance the sensations and pleasure for yourself or your partner. Whether or not there is penetration involved, lube keeps things slippery and smooth and helps avoid too much friction or chaffing which can quickly become uncomfortable. You can start by dabbing a coin sized amount onto your fingertips or hand and then rubbing them together (this just helps bring the lube closer to body temperature as cold lube can sometimes feel a little startling when applied onto the vulva directly out of the bottle). Feel free to add more and more as you go. Some people like just a little extra slide, and others like it really wet! Whatever you do, remember to reapply as needed to keep things slick throughout your sexy time.

How to finger when your fingers get tired‍

If you’re doing this for a while your fingers are likely to get tired. It can help to work with the larger muscle groups like the upper arm and shoulder. To do this, hold your fingers and hand steady and pull upwards from those larger muscles. This will often be more sustainable and may also allow you to provide more intense stimulation for folks who enjoy that. 

Use sex toys to take fingering to the next level

Using sex toys is not only a great way to intensify pleasure and take fingering to the next level, but it can also give your hand a break. Let the sex toy do the work for you. 

There are several sex toys out there intended to simulate the sensation of fingering. Here are just a few of our recommendations: 

• The Fun Factory Be One is a vibrating toy you can cradle between your fingers as an extension of your own hand. It has ridges that can tuck comfortably into your labia or underwear so you can also use it hands-free. 
• The Satisfyer High Fly Finger Vibe is another finger vibrator with an ergonomic shape and pointed tip meant for targeted stimulation of the clitoris, nipples, perineum, or any other erogenous zone. 

Be prepared for clean up

Keep in mind that some people experience squirting or ejaculation from this kind of stimulation, so it’s a good idea to lay a towel down first so you don’t need to worry as much about clean up. If you’re with someone who squirts, we recommend trying the Liberator Fascinator Throw because it’s a moisture-proof blanket. 

The bottom line  

Our bodies learn over time what pleasure looks like, and it can take awhile to get used to a new form of stimulation. Just experiment and have fun, and make sure to keep an open dialog about what’s working best. If you want to take fingering to the next level, consider exploring our catalog for sex toys to enhance fingering.

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